Living in America?

I have a friend in America, she says there are plenty of single guys there for even girls like me. This is my personal-ad for them to read, I expect an overwhelming response, so I bought a bigger mailbox. Probably not wellspent money. So Vicky, spread the words!

My English is not the best, but after watching Arnold Swarzenegger in movies and politics I know I`m not the worst either. There is a big room for misunderstanding when all I can is school-English, Norwegian style. I really dont know exactly where to put my tongue when I pronounce an R. And the TH-sound in words like the, that, tooth, three - well its not comming out the way it sounds in my head.

The point is, I think I should live in the States, have no idea why but probably not because of the health care system, I`ve heared it`s kind of special over there. And according to the crime rate of yours I will most likely find myself robbed, murdered and with a sorry ass during my first shopping spree. At K-mart. I have a feeling I wouldnt look good in a bodybag. Thats like a Onepiece for satanworshippers. I hate Onepieces. And satanworshippers.

Your weird expressions can cause many heavy situations; what if I want to give a guy a hint about what I want for my birthday and instead say; "Let me give you head" Oh my god, I cant even think about all the trouble I might end up in. "Heads up, heads up, heads up".
And I would have had to control my Tourettes and stop yelling Bomb all the time, I guess coffee could work. Or metal.


In the movies alot of American single guys live in a beachhouse in Los Angeles and I`m sure i would look good under a towel on your beach. Not untop of, under! I`m shy. I would look quite good in a beachhouse, I would even be your bitch so that it would be your bitchhouse.
So what can I offer an American man? Well, I`m not a cook but I sometimes impress even myself in the kitchen. But I have the impression that women there dont really eat, they seem to be just moving their salad from one side of the plate to another? But they look great, and hungry. Once I cooked a rabbit, but havent we all at one point. "Whats cooking goodlooking? Its a rabbit and a habit"


I really dont like talking about me so lets talk about you! You must be goodlooking, Shrek is a nice guy but yes, just that. And I prefer you earn good money so I can be a stay-at-home soccermom. And write books, like Stephenie Meyer. Except the vampires.
Here I go talking about myself again. I cant stop me.
Or I could be a songwriter, I`m good with rhyme. I`ve even written what my tombstone should say:

Here lies the body of Anne Wahl

Not so pretty and not so tall

I belive in Buddha and karma is on track

I will not rest in peace, I will Be Rigth Back!



Well thats about it, for now - I know you want me allready.